Lauren Hartfield, Hufflepuff
by Nassy Nyrolian
Summary: A year after the Battle of Hogwarts, the next wave of first years arrive, Lauren Hartfield among them. She's hoping for Gryffindor, like most others, but ends up in the boring, stupid House: Hufflepuff. But when an old danger that preceeded the Dark Lord threatens to return, she and her friends must prove that Hufflepuff House is just as awesome as the other three.
1. The Bad Guys Learn Voldemort Died

A/N: I've always hated how Hufflepuff House is looked down upon. They don't have any distinguishing characteristics, or famous people, except for Cedric Diggory, and he died. I mean, you can't even take the name seriously. _Hufflepuff_. So, I have decided to bring honor to Hufflepuff House by writing of a little-known hero: Lauren Hartfield. By the way, I don't not not not not not not not not not not not not own Harry Potter. I also apologize for all the Other Characters, but it was the best way to tell the story. Please read it until the end because by chapter four it gets really good!

Seven knocks at the door, and then three. That was the code - this person could only be an ally. A man in a dark blue cloak, who had been reclining in a chair, rose to his feet, and opened the lock. The door swung out on silent hinges, where another man waited in pouring rain.

"So you came," was all the man in the blue cloak said.

"So I did," the other replied. "I have news. Big news. News that you'll no doubt find interesting."

"You're too late," the blue-cloaked figure said calmly. He considered closing the door, and gripped it tighter to do so, but then changed his mind and opened it further. "But do come in."

They walked into a richly furnished room, with bookshelves stacked to the brim with volumes, and a fire blazing in the fireplace. A staircase led to a higher level, making the room strike a great resemblance to a library. There was another man looking down from the second floor, leaning on the balcony, with a conceited smile on his face.

"Evening, Alcyone," he said from above. "What could you possibly be doing here?"

Alcyone said nothing, but glowered at him. The blue-cloaked man had sat down in his chair again. His legs were crossed and he seemed to be waiting.

Alcyone held his hands behind his back, trying to find his voice. "So, you have already heard."

The man in the chair nodded once.

"How much?"

"He's dead." The man gave a shallow laugh. "Phenomenal, isn't it? I wasn't sure if he _could_ die, to be honest."

There were a few moments of silence. Alcyone whirled around to look at the man on the balcony. "Ralis, how did you find out?"

Ralis shrugged, and then smiled again. "It's called quick informants. You should get some; they're rather useful."

The man in the chair raised his hand. Ralis and Alcyone waited for him to speak.

"Now that the Dark Lord is dead, it is our time to begin. Or, should I say, resume?" Neither Alcyone nor Ralis could see, but he smiled into the fire. "We were some of the wise few that decided to hide when the Dark Lord emerged."

"Our first move?" asked Ralis.

"It may seem ironic," replied Cepheus, "but our first move is to wait."

"Do you have a plan, though?" asked Alcyone nervously.

"Of course," Cepheus replied. "The same on as before. They won't be expecting any of it, since _he's_ dead now. Everyone will be off their guard, relaxing, celebrating." Cepheus smiled, already thinking about his victory. "The perfect time to strike. They never expect it."


	2. Discrimination in Favor of Gingers

A/N: As I said before, I only own the OCs in this story. Sorry for all of them, but it was really the best way to tell the story!

Lauren Hartfield was not very special. She had sort of dull brown hair that hung just past her shoulders, blue eyes, and was slightly shorter than average. Her mind wasn't especially sharp, and goodness knew she wasn't pureblooded. Her only wish right now was to be brave. Because, since she was none of the other things, and wasn't brave, the only other option was…

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the sorting hat. The boy under it turned an unhealthy shade of blue, before hopping off the stool to join his new table. Lauren felt a twinge of pity, as he sat down under a huge yellow and black banner. He held his head in his hands and began rocking back and forth, seeming to be mumbling to himself. _That's going to be me in three minutes if I can't get brave,_ she thought.

"Carrier, Brian!" the Headmistress called, and a boy with carrot-colored hair approached the sorting hat.

Beside her, her friend Sylvia took a deep breath in. They looked at each other for a second, and laughed nervously. Their eyes wandered to a banner with a golden lion, rearing up on its hind legs and roaring, daring the world to challenge it.

In the background, the sorting hat exclaimed, "_Ah, a ginger! I know just what to do with you_!GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor table burst into wild applause as another joined them.

_I need to be brave,_ she thought. _Think brave thoughts. _She imagined fighting dragons and dueling wizards, anything that was brave. She just didn't feel it. To her, brave thoughts meant thoughts that scared her. Around her, the Great Hall and its clapping became like echoes, and the image of her train compartment started forming in her eyes.

_Oh, dear,_ thought Lauren distantly. _A flashback. As if this needs to be any more confusing._

_The train gave another jolt, and Lauren hit her head on the luggage rack above her. She checked to make sure that her things were in place._

"_Relax. They're not going anywhere." Sylvia, sitting across from her, was reclining in the train seat with a book._

_ "So there are four Houses," Lauren said, turning to Sylvia. "What are they like, exactly?"_

_ "I told you, I only know what that third-year explained," Sylvia said. "Slytherin, with a snake, is for the pure and very ambitious. Ravenclaw, with an eagle, is the House for the smart and the oddballs. Gryffindor, with a lion, is for the brave. And then Hufflepuff, with a badger." _

_ There was a moment's silence. "Home of the…?" Lauren prompted._

_ "House of the nothing," Sylvia said. "They don't have any kind of special trait. It's the House for the people with no talent. Kind of sad, isn't it?" Sylvia asked, almost disdaining. She put down her book and folded her hands on her lap. "I'm going to be in Gryffindor," she said determinedly. "That's where Harry Potter was."_

_ "You heard about him, too?" Lauren was surprised. Even though they were both mudbloods, the entire train seemed to be whispering about him. _

_ "I heard tons!" Sylvia said, leaning forward in her seat. "Like the big battle last year, at the school. How he defeated Voldemort with some kind of special wand!"_

_ "And his friend pulled a sword from a hat and killed a giant snake!" Lauren added. "Gryffindors were the only ones who did anything in the battle." _

_ "That's because they're brave. And if you're not brave, you can't do anything." _

_ "I suppose that's true…" Lauren said thoughtfully. _

"Connor, Sylvia!" called the Headmistress, and Lauren snapped out of her flashback. Sylvia took her place on the stool, as the hat shifted on her head. _Gryffindor, Gryffindor, Gryffindor,_ chanted Lauren in her head.

"RAVENCLAW!" proclaimed the sorting hat. Sylvia looked devastated. She gave a longing glance over her shoulder at the Gryffindor table, before slumping off to the Ravenclaw one. She picked a seat at the very end, and sat by herself.

Lauren caught her eye, but Sylvia looked away.

_No!_ thought Lauren. _I thought that she would have made it. She seemed brave to me._ The Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, was calling up another name, but Lauren was absorbed in her own thoughts. _I can't be in Hufflepuff! I won't! I'm better than that! _How would someone that was brave feel? Did she need a lack of fear? That might be impossible for her. _Oh, I'm doomed,_ she thought dismally.

"Hartfield, Lauren!" the Headmistress said. Lauren stepped out of the line of first-years, feeling the entire school's eyes follow her. Everyone watched as she sat on the stool, and felt the sorting hat put on her head. She felt it move of its own accord, and resisted the urge to take it off.

_Ah, another one eager for Gryffindor,_ it seemed to say in her head. _Probably that Potter…you are like your new Ravenclaw friend, and many others, wanting that House just because of him. Few know that I wanted to put him in Slytherin initially._ _But Gryffindor might suit you…_

Lauren felt a plume of hope rise inside of her...

_I see other things besides bravery,_ it said. _Cleverness, but not exactly the kind Ravenclaws have. Ambition, yes, a lot of that… Like I said, many things besides bravery._

Lauren began to panic. She needed to be brave, and she needed to be quick about it. Did it matter if she wasn't really brave? Lauren _just knew_ that Gryffindor was the House for her.

What was bravery? Did she need to be unafraid? No, she thought that everyone, even Gryffindors, were nervous when they came up here. What was it, then? If everyone was afraid, what sets bravery apart?

_It's all about ignoring. Just ignore that you're afraid, and do it anyway. That is true bravery._ The revelation hit her, and now she had the key – and she would use it.

Lauren straightened up and looked out into the sea of faces. Her mind went blank as the hat examined it, and she focused on ignoring the fear. She tried to casually look back at the crowd before her, even though her stomach was doing somersaults.

_Hmm…Gryffindor may work better than I thought. Seems to go well enough._ The hat straightened up, and she waited breathlessly for it to say…

The hat stopped abruptly. It gave pause for a few moments, before moving again. It laughed inside her head. _Aha! So you __do__ understand! _it said craftily. Lauren blinked. What was going on now?

"HUFFLEPUFF!" proclaimed the sorting hat.

Time seemed to slow down for Lauren. The Hufflepuff table clapped with delight, but everything was overlapping and slow. She stood up from the stool and staggered to the table, feeling queasy. She walked down to the end of the table, as people she didn't know or care about congratulated her. _What is there to congratulate me about?_ She thought dismally. _I'm a boring, stupid, untalented Hufflepuff._

Sylvia caught her eye. This time Lauren looked away.

Lauren found herself sitting next to a boy, the very one who had been rocking back and forth and muttering to himself

He still was.

"I'm a Hufflepuff," he kept saying over and over. "What'll Mum and Dad think?"

Lauren looked on, feeling awkward. _Well, I better start getting to know my fellow…Puffs. _"What's your name?" she asked the boy.

He looked up, eyes unfocused. "I'm a Hufflepuff."

"What?"

"No, wait, sorry," he said, holding up his hands, and closing his eyes. He deep sighed, and put his hands on the table. "Yews. Nathaniel Yews."

"I'm Lauren Hartfield," she said, extending her hand. "Pleased to meet you, Nathaniel."

Nathaniel looked befuddled, but eventually took her hand and shook it. "My friends call me Nate, by the way"

"So, I guess that you're…disappointed."

"I'm a Hufflepuff," he muttered again.

"I am, too. I almost tricked the sorting hat. At the last second, it changed its mind."

Nate looked up, surprised, but said nothing.

Lauren went on. "It said that Gryffindor would work, but then suddenly said something like, 'Oh, so you _do_ understand!' and dumped me here."

"You almost tricked the sorting hat?" Nate looked amazed. "How did you do it?"

Lauren made ambiguous gestures in the air. "Well, uh…I just tried to act like a Gryffindor and ignore my fears. I guessed that that was true bravery. It almost worked, too." She felt a pang of disappointment. _What did I do wrong?_ She thought.

"I'm going to be miserable in this House. Absolutely miserable," Lauren concluded.

Nate smiled. "Hey, so am I."

The Headmistress, having finished the sorting, gave a flick of her wand, and the list of students folded itself up into nothingness. "Some announcements, before the feast begins," she said loudly, rapping on a glass.

"First, welcome to another exciting year at Hogwarts. I am most pleased to be your Headmistress, and am so proud of the battle which we have fought!"

The school gave a loud cheer, some people standing up to make more noise.

"If this is your first year, you have much to be thankful for. A dark time has just passed us, a most dark time indeed." She shook her head sadly at the memory. "But now is the time for a new start, a new beginning! Do well this year, and be proud of our victory.

"A few reminders, please," she said as people began cheering again. "As you may know, in the fight last year, the container for House Points for Slytherin was shattered. Those who pilfered the emeralds may still step up and return them."

A few people coughed at this announcement, and Lauren noticed that many students were quietly removing conspicuous green jewelry.

"The Triwizard Tournament has been postponed to next year. I believe I can say that we have had enough excitement to last until then. And, the author does not want to try and incorporate that complicated event in this story."

Lauren heard a strange crumbling sound from somewhere behind the Headmistress. It sounded like something was falling. She was about to ask Nate what it was, but decided against it.

The Headmistress straightened up and addressed the whole school. "I believe that is all. Enjoy the feast." She bowed her head.

Suddenly, plates of food appeared on the table, and Lauren jumped in surprise.

"Where'd all this come from?" she asked Nate.

"The house elves. They cook it underneath us, in the kitchen."

Lauren blinked. "House elves?"

"Oh, are you a Muggle-born?" he asked.

"Uh…" she hesitated. Some wizards, as Sylvia had told her, were spiteful of Muggles and Muggle-borns. They didn't consider them to be true wizards. _But that's what I am, _she thought. _There's no changing it._

"Yes," she said happily. "Never heard of Hogwarts until a few days ago."

"Must be hard," Nate observed. "I've been learning this stuff all my life. You have to do it in hours."

"You're pureblooded?"

Nate nodded. "Yep. My older sister Ann is in Slytherin. She was in the battle last year." He smiled. "She left instead of fighting. I love to tease her about it."

Lauren skewered a fish filet, deposited it on her plate, and began to eat._ Why Hufflepuff_? She asked herself, not for the first, and certainly not for the last time.


	3. Irony in the Commons

A/N: I'd just like to say that the information on the Hufflepuff commons room, which was never mentioned in the book, is straight from the Pottermore welcome letter that you get if sorted into that House. (I myself am a Ravenclaw, but you can find any of the welcome letters on the mystical magical Internet. By the way, Gryffindor's is the most boring. Probably because Percy wrote it.)

"Plants."

"Plants?"

"Plants," Nate repeated. "Hufflepuffs are crazy about plants."

"Plants," Lauren said with disbelief. "So we are known for something. Botany."

"It borders on somewhat of an unhealthy obsession," Nate clarified. "Almost every Hufflepuff aces tests in Herbology, and nothing else."

Lauren nodded. They were walking down a creaky set of stairs, below ground, it seemed. "So, what everyone thinks of Hufflepuff is that we're boring, untalented, and stupid?"

"And plant lovers."

"And plant lovers." She sighed. _Why? Why Hufflepuff?_

"Keep up!" yelled the Prefect leading them. They continued down stairs until they reached a long, straight corridor. Lauren smelled the air. It smelled…good. Really good. As good as the feast they just had.

"Are the kitchens somewhere around here?" she asked Nate.

"Must be," he said.

They continued down the corridor, when something small with large, floppy ears and big eyes scuttled past them. Lauren stared at it as they passed the thing. _That's a house elf, I'm guessing._

"This is the entrance to our commons," explained the Prefect. "None but Hufflepuffs have ever entered here, which is more than can be said for Gryffindor, Slytherin, or even Ravenclaw, with their fancy riddle-asking eagle head."

He took them to a pile of large barrels on the right side of the kitchen corridor. "Now, remember – second from the bottom, middle barrow." He took out his wand and gave the previously mentioned barrel five taps, two slower and three faster. The barrel opened up, showing a space big enough to crawl through.

"The rhythm for the barrel is 'Helga Hufflepuff'. Do it wrong, or tap the wrong barrel for that manner, and you will get an unpleasant surprise." With a bit of pride in his voice, he continued. "Our commons is the only in the school that repels would-be intruders. The others simply don't open."

"What's the unpleasant surprise?" asked a girl with wispy hair that stuck out everywhere.

"Oh, you'll find out sooner or later. Someone will mess it up. Now, with me, please!"

Lauren and Nate crawled through the barrel's opening.

"I feel like a badger already!" Nate exclaimed.

Just then, they stepped into the commons room. Lauren gave her eyes a second to adjust to the light. When they did, she got a big surprise. The commons room was a lot different than she had expected it. It was arranged like a big circle, with large windows and low ceilings. There were hanging baskets with flowers everywhere, and stuffed couches that looked extremely comfortable.

"Welcome to Hufflepuff commons," the Prefect said. "This is where you'll be sleeping, relaxing with friends, and having a great time. This just goes to show that what you've been told about Hufflepuff is untrue. I suppose we love plants, but that is not distinctive of Hufflepuff. I mean, Neville Longbottom, that Gryffindor who killed the snake, _he's_ obsessed with plants. A _Gryffindor_! And yet nobody seems to notice." The Prefect stood up straighter as his speech reached a proud crescendo. "There is greatness in Hufflepuff, and if you don't find it, it's your fault. Because we are just as brave, determined, smart, and especially as noble as any other House."

The Prefect, having finished his speech, dignifiedly turned around and took a step forwards.

There was a large, resounding _thunk_ as his head hit a hanging basket.

The first years stood by quietly and were entertained while the Prefect discharged his anger on the hanging basket with very colorful swears. When he finished, he stood up straight again despite the bruise swelling on his forehead. "You will find your things in the dormitories. Girls are allowed in the boys' dormitories, but boys are not allowed in the girls'."

"Well, I've got to go unpack my things," Lauren said to Nate. "See you tomorrow?"

"No," Nate said. "I'm going to jump out these windows, ride the giant squid across the lake, get a new identity, and come back and be sorted into Gryffindor."

Lauren paused for a moment to consider this plan of action. "Yes, well, good luck with that," she wished, before heading to the dormitories. She found her suitcases piled on her very plush bed. Lauren opened them to quickly check that everything was in place, realized they weren't, spent the next few minutes trying to organize, and finally gave up and shoved things wherever they fit.

Sighing, she fell back on her bed. _Why Hufflepuff? I don't think that I'm stupid or dull. Why did the sorting hat say that I understood?_ _Did I understand that I wasn't brave enough?_ The answer to the question eluded her, and the questions kept spiraling around and around in her head until she fell asleep.

A/N: It gets a lot better and funnier! Please keep reading, especially the ending. Once again, I apologize for the OCs. But if you stick through to the last chapter it'll be worth it! I promise! And I never break my promises.


	4. Hufflepuff Jokes and Vinegar

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter characters, events, objects, _hilarious_ jokes, etc. Now read and review!

The library was quiet, of course, the only sounds being the turning of pages and the occasional cough. Lauren tried to concentrate on taking notes, but Arithmancy was _so boring_. It was like wizard math, and any kind of math was just horrible. Although, it was really fun to keep asking the teacher what the square root of negative one was.

Nate, who sat next to her, was also trying to understand his Arithmancy work. He kept asking her for the answers, which, she kept telling him, was unable to supply.

He rapped on her paper with a quill to get her attention. "Hey, what would the life expectancy of a unicorn be if its horn had a scratch two inches thick?"

"I don't remember that formula," she hissed back at him.

"It's fifty years," somebody next to her answered. Lauren spun around. There was a girl holding up a tall book to conceal her face.

Lauren blinked. "Sylvia? I haven't seen you since the Sorting."

"Shhh!" Sylvia whispered. "Don't say my name."

Nate and Lauren looked at each other. "Why not?" she asked.

"I'm a Ravenclaw," she explained, as if it was incredibly obvious. "If I'm seen talking to…_Hufflepuffs_…I'll be disgraced."

"Why would you be disgraced?" Nate wondered.

"You know the feud between Slytherin and Gryffindor? There's one between our Houses, too. You didn't know that?" Sylvia seemed surprised.

"Well, I was wondering why you seemed to be avoiding me," Lauren admitted.

"Yes, but that's beside the point. I need to talk to you, right now."

"You are," Nate said flatly.

Sylvia glared at Nate from the side of the book for an instant. "Do either of you get the Daily Prophet?"

"Yeah, of course," Nate said. "What about it?"

Sylvia looked around self-consciously. "Have you been noticing strange things in the paper?" she asked him.

He thought for a second. "Not really."

"Well, there are. And no one seems to notice. I mean, look at this," she said, bringing out a copy. Lauren glanced at a front article, which was about Harry Potter. Of course. Most of the articles were about him, and other good things happening around the wizarding world. Books were being written, people were telling horrible stories with happy feel-good endings, but nothing really strange.

"I know what you're thinking," Sylvia said. "But turn to the very last page."

Lauren opened the paper to the back. There, among the other articles and moving pictures of beaming people, she saw one lone article. It was about a curious fire breaking out in a wizard's home. It didn't offer up much detail, but it did say that the cause of the fire was unknown. "Why did this catch your attention?" she asked Sylvia.

"Because it's been happening everywhere." Sylvia dragged out at least five more copies, and on the back pages, there were tiny reports about fires and small robberies, even murders.

"Why did all this stuff get shoved to the back?" Nate asked, closing his Arithmancy book and notes.

"People are all too excited about the good things going on. Voldemort's dead, that really evil guy, and they aren't paying attention to anything else."

Lauren, to her surprise, made a leap of logic. "So…you think these are connected."

Sylvia nodded. "Actually, I know these are connected." She placed a large book on the table, and opened another newspaper. "Look at this person here – Ingrid Turnrobe. I did a bit of research in the library, and found that she was a member of a small group, a long time ago, the Searchers."

Lauren and Nate gave her blank looks.

"Never heard of them?" she asked. "Well, the Searchers were a very mysterious group, which looked for what they called 'the origin'. They looked for the 'origin' of magic. Nobody to this day knows where magic comes from, or how we are able to utilize it. They never really found it, or so they say." She showed them the book. "I snuck into the restricted section a few days ago-"

"What?" exclaimed Lauren. "You snuck into the restricted section? How?"

"Dungbombs are very useful," was her only answer. "Anyway, I found this book about the group, and discovered that our friend Ingrid was the leader. Supposedly, after they had been together for a few years, she suddenly disbanded the group and told everyone to 'go away'. My guess is that she stumbled into something, and wanted it to herself. But all these attacks and murders," Sylvia said, going through the newspapers, "are about members of the Searchers. And Ingrid has been missing for weeks."

"Sylvia?" A Ravenclaw was walking by with an insane load of books under her arm. "What're you doing, talking to some…_Hufflepuffs_?" she demanded. Sylvia, in her excitement, had set her tall book on the table.

The Ravenclaw harrumphed at her and walked away.

Sylvia buried her face in her hands. "Oh, no…I've been discovered. Great," she said, picking up the book again as quickly as she could.

"Are Hufflepuffs really that bad?" Nate asked quietly.

"We tell jokes about you guys in our commons," she said sheepishly.

"Like what?" Lauren asked, cautiously.

Sylvia shook her head. "I don't want to tell you."

"Please? I won't be offended," Lauren said honestly.

"Okay…but you're not going to like them." She sighed. "How many Hufflepuffs does it take to change a light bulb?"

"How many?" Nate asked.

"All of them," Sylvia whispered.

"Is that the worst?" Lauren asked hopefully.

"No, not by far. What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?"

"What?" Lauren groaned.

"Gifted. What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?"

"Really…gifted?" Nate tried.

"Pregnant. I told you that they were bad," Sylvia said quickly, seeing her friends' expressions.

"Oh, god, I hate being in Hufflepuff," Nate muttered. "We're the laughingstock of the entire school."

"But what did Ingrid discover?" Lauren said, trying to change the subject.

"I dunno," Sylvia answered. "But it was big. Really big. Somebody wants that secret, and really bad."

"Why?" asked Nate. "What good would it do?"

Sylvia shrugged. "There's money, fame, adventure… and the possibility of controlling all aspects of magic itself. Which, do you suppose, would appeal to them most?" she asked sarcastically.

"Sor_ry_," he said.

"We need to talk about this some more," Lauren said decisively. "Where's a safe place to talk?"

"What about the kitchens?" Nate suggested.

"The kitchens?"

"Oh, yeah," Lauren said. "Nobody goes there, except for the house elves. It's a pretty good place to hang out. And the house elves love to bring you food."

"Tomorrow, after classes, then?" she suggested.

"Sure. See you," Lauren said, and went off with Nate.

"I can't believe that there are Hufflepuff jokes," he said. "It's absurd! Just because our House is famous for being stupid doesn't mean that _we _are. You were almost a Gryffindor, for example." He kicked at a book that somebody had dropped on the floor. "It's not fair."

Together, they trudged to their commons room. "Life isn't fair," Lauren said, tapping the barrel. "One gets used to it."

"Yeah, at least things can't get worse," Nate observed.

Lauren paused. "Wait. The barrel in the middle, third row, correct?"

"No, second from the bottom."

"Oh, no," she said, paling.

Suddenly, a deluge of vinegar dropped from the ceiling, utterly soaking them.

"Agh, I stink!" Nate yelled. "Look what you've done!"

"Vinegar?" Lauren cried. "Why vinegar?" She shook the sleeves of her robe, trying to get the liquid out.

"So, this is how the would-be intruders are repelled," Nate said dryly, even though he was soaked.

When Lauren and Nate emerged in the commons, the entire room began laughing.

"We're the lowest of the low," Lauren said. "Even the Hufflepuffs are laughing at us."

One of them, a Prefect who was doubled over laughing, came up. "Oh, we're just laughing _with_ you. We've all done that one time or another. Come on, we'll dry you off." The Prefect and a few of his friends took turns trying spells to remove the vinegar from their robes.

Once the Prefects had helped them, they invited the unfortunates to one of the couches.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" the Prefect asked. "We've all done that one time or another. At least, it was your fault. One time, I was just standing near the entrance when a first-year came in and tapped the wrong rhythm, and I got a soaking, too." He beamed. "No other commons has that. Another reason our House is so cool."

"Yeah, right," Nate murmured under his breath.

"What?" asked the Prefect.

Lauren couldn't stop herself. The disappointment was building up inside her to an unbearable level. "We've become a bit…disillusioned…with Hufflepuff House. It's just so…"

"Un-famous?" suggested another boy, somewhat coldly.

"Yeah," she agreed, looking down at the floor. "And everyone thinks that we're so stupid. They make up jokes about us and tell them in their commons."

"Well, we do that, too," the Prefect said matter-of-factly.

"About yourselves?"

He laughed. "Not ourselves! The other Houses. We just don't go trumpeting them like everyone else does. And I dare say that we've come up with some good ones."

"Even about Gryffindors?" Nate asked, astonished.

"Even ones about Harry Potter," he said. "Like this one." The Prefect cleared his throat. "Why did Harry Potter cross the street?"

"No reason," someone across from him answered, "but someone will write a book about it." The commons burst out laughing again, and even Lauren found herself smiling.

"Oh, how many Harry Potters does it take to change a light bulb?" a girl began.

"How many?" asked Lauren.

"One. He holds the bulb in place while the world revolves around him." She could barely make it to the punch line, before erupting into laughter.

"There's loads of light bulb jokes," the Prefect next to Lauren and Nate explained. "Like, how many Slytherins does it take to change a light bulb?"

"What's a light bulb?" the whole commons answered in one voice.

"Who knows a Ravenclaw joke?" the girl asked.

The Prefect straightened up excitedly. "Oh, everybody be quiet, this one's really good." When the commons had calmed down sufficiently, he began. "How many Ravenclaws does it take to light a wand?"

"How many?" Lauren asked.

He beamed. "Twenty-two. Five Ravanclaws to run around the library to find the quickest, most effective manner to do so, seven to practice that spell and make sure that it's safe and it works, four to inform the professors so that they get credit, three to ponder which wand core is the best material for performing the spell, one to stand by with a fire extinguisher just in case, one to actually perform the spell, and one more to point out that I spelled 'Ravenclaw' wrong in the beginning of the answer."

Lauren began to laugh with the commons, but frowned. "Wait, how can you _spell _'Ravenclaw' wrong, when you're just saying it?"

Suddenly, a loud crumbling noise filled the commons, and she saw stone blocks lying everywhere, as if some kind of structure had fallen. "What was that?" she demanded, jumping up.

"Oh, it's just the fourth wall," the Prefect said casually. "I'll fix it in a jiffy."

"The fourth…?" she stopped and shook her head, as the Prefect waved his wand, and the blocks disappeared. _It must be a wizard thing._


	5. Nate Criticizes an Ancient Greek Monster

A/N: I don't own anything Harry Potter related except OCs. Please read and review!

House elves scurried past them, carrying plates of food. Nate reached out to grab a tart as one passed.

"Nate!" Lauren reproached.

"Who's going to notice one tart?" he said breezily, before stuffing it in his mouth.

Footsteps echoed from the corridor, as Sylvia ran towards their tiny wooden table.

"Sorry I'm late," she wheezed, slamming her things down on the table. "I had detention." She paused. "Again."

"Again?" Lauren asked.

"I get detention for the most ridiculous things," she fumed. "But I'll tell you about that later. I've made a breakthrough on the Origin." Sylvia dug through her books, until she came across a large, dusty volume. "Here," she said, taking out a small book, which had a large circle on the cover. "I also found this one in the restricted section. It's where they keep the good stuff, as a general rule."

"Is that why you got detention?" Nate asked.

"No," she said simply, which heightened their curiosity. "But this book contains a few sections about the Origin and the Searchers. Do you see this passage?" Sylvia asked, turning the book to face Nate and Lauren. "It talks about the Muggle theory of evolution. How we began as bacteria in the oceans, and then turned to fishies, reptiles, birds, and mammals. This passage contains some notes from Ingrid Turnrobe's private journal. She believes that, during evolution, there was what she calls 'a rip in the screen between worlds', and magic seeped through. But the journal goes on to say that some immensely powerful objects are capable of making 'rips' in this veil thingy."

"Like the Elder Wand?" Nate asked.

"No, not really. The Elder Wand is powerful, but it's not the right kind of power. To pierce the screen, this object needs to be, in a way, 'sharp'. It's hard to explain. But I did more research."

"_Ravenclaw,_" Nate coughed into his fist.

"Ingrid, right before she disbanded the Searchers, went on a little trip to Greece with her fellow Searcher, Cepheus Tawning. Apparently Cepheus was from that area, and she thought he could help her around, you know." She paused and looked at both of them. "They went there for a reason. And the reason is this." She opened the book and pointed to a picture, of a giant serpent curled around a spherical rock. "In Greek mythology, there is the legend of Python, the snake."

Nate raised an eyebrow. "The snake's name is Python? That's very imaginative."

"I didn't name it," Sylvia said. "The legend is that Python was guarding a rock, a rock thought to be at the center of the Universe."

"But why was Python guarding it?" Nate asked, looking around for another house elf to snitch food from.

"It never says," Sylvia answered, waving at the picture again. "But Python's long since dead. And the rock it was guarding, some books say, was crushed to dust a long time ago."

"So…you think that the Searchers found a rock at the center of the Universe?" Lauren concluded.

Sylvia nodded. "Or at least, what was left of it. It might be something that could break this screen thing between worlds and allow magic to seep through."

"What about the other guy, Cepheus?" Nate asked, pointing at a picture. "What did he do after they went there?"

"Cepheus started another group, the Moirai. Rather shady," Sylvia said, lowering her voice. "I think they're the ones behind all this stuff."

"Cepheus Tawning," Nate repeated. "So, according to you and your research, Cepheus went with Ingrid to Greece, found this magical rock thing, went home, and now he's begun murdering and kidnapping."

"These murders and things have happened in the past. They stopped when Voldemort showed up, and now that he's dead, they've resumed." She paused. "They might have been afraid to compete with him."

"Don't blame 'em," Nate said. He swooped down on a plate full of rolls and snatched one off the top.

"But what's their next move?" Lauren pressed. "How can we stop them?"

Sylvia stared at her. "We? Stop them? We're not even second years yet."

"We're Hufflepuffs," Nate reminded her. "Not Gryffindors."

"Who cares?" she demanded. "Just because we're not Gryffindors doesn't mean that we're not brave. It just means that we're…whatever Hufflepuffs are…more than we are brave. Harry Potter was doing stuff against Voldemort in _his _first year," she reminded them. "And nobody else is paying attention. It's just we three."

"_Us_ three," Sylvia corrected.

"Whatever."

"Hey, grammar is important," Sylvia admonished.

"What are you suggesting?" Nate asked. "We don't even know where they are."

"Well, actually," Sylvia said, pleased to be showing off more of her superior intellect, "I do. It says that the Moirai used to terrorize London. The book, I mean. More specifically, 626 West Reineking Street."

"Oh, London." Lauren laughed. "Yeah, we'll get there in…three weeks, I'm estimating. If we're lucky."

"Does anyone have any kind of family in London that can Apparate them?" Lauren tried.

Nate laughed. "My uncle Lazarus lives in Hogsmeade, but he's either drunk or sleeping."

"However we're getting there," Sylvia said, putting her books away, "it's not happening tonight. I have another detention."

Nate looked like he wanted to ask really badly, but knew Sylvia would put it off. But he couldn't help himself. "For what?"

She stood up to go. "I have to write a message fifty times on the chalkboard."

"FOR WHAT?"

"Changing the password to the Prefects' bathroom to, 'Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty'." She smiled, and ran off.


	6. The Slytherins Get Their Butts Kicked

A/N: Here the action picks up a lot, and, as said in the title, the Slytherins get their butts kicked! I don't own Harry Potter, read and review, etc.

It had happened.

The worst thing imaginable.

The start of her truly becoming a stupid Hufflepuff.

Lauren had just aced her Herbology exam.

"NOOOOOOO!" she hollered, holding the paper as far away from her as possible, glaring at the _40/40_ written on it. She'd tried _so hard_ to fail! How was this possible?

Professor Sprout, along with the rest of the classroom, watched with confusion and some interest. They had Herbology with Slytherin House, and many of the students from there began to whisper and snicker.

"Are you all…right, Hartfield?" Professor Sprout asked concernedly. "Did I miss a question you got right?"

"NOOOOOOO!" Lauren repeated, this time as an answer to the question. "How did I get this right? I think it should be wrong," she protested, pointing at question thirty-five. "Gillyweed is _African,_ not Mediterranean, right?"

"Gillyweed is from the Mediterranean," Sprout affirmed. "You got it right."

"That's just the problem!" Lauren exclaimed breathlessly. She put her head on her desk. When Sprout didn't leave, her side, Lauren waved her on. "It's…it's okay. I just need some time for this to sink in…"

Looking thoroughly confused, Professor Sprout moved on to hand out the next exam paper, watching Lauren over her shoulder as she passed.

Nate poked her. "What happened?"

"THIS!" She shoved the paper in his face. "It's _happening_!" she said, terrified. "I'm…I'm turning into an actual _Hufflepuff!_ I'm not a Hufflepuff! I'm supposed to be a Gryffindor! This can't be true!" Lauren buried her head in her hands, on the verge of tears. "_Plants,_" she muttered. Professor Sprout didn't hear her ranting this time, because she had gone into her office with a student who had done quite poorly. "_Plants…_"

"At least you did well," Nate said. "I got a twenty-one out of forty. I could have _sworn_ that Gillyweed was from Antarctica. Didn't one of our textbooks say that?"

"No, there are many members of the gillyweed family on every continent _except_ Antarctica," Lauren recited. She then realized what she just said. "_I did it again_! WHAT'S HAPPENING T O ME?"

"Hey!" one of the Slytherin boys shouted. "You may care that you're stupid, but I don't! Keep it down." He turned back to his friends and laughed with them.

"_She _just got a perfect score, for your information," Nate sneered.

"Nate, shut up!" Lauren hissed.

"Perfect score?" the Slytherin asked. "Oh, right, this is Herbology. The only thing you plant-heads can possibly understand. Also, coincidentally, the least important class we'll ever take."

Lauren glared at them. "Well, Slytherins are supposed to be so _good _at potions. What exactly do you _put_ in those potions of yours, might I ask?"

The Slytherin stopped laughing. "Anyone can grow a plant. It's _easy_."

"Really? Can I see your test grade?" Lauren asked.

"I did very well," the Slytherin sniffed, but hid the paper in his book bag.

"Oh, _I'll bet_," Nate drawled.

Without warning, the Slytherin stood up, fixed his wand on Nate, and yelled, "_Mucus ad nauseam!"_

A spell that looked green and slimy whizzed above Nate's head as he ducked. "So, that's how you want to do this, is it? _ Locomotor mortis!_"

The spell was quick to fly from his wand, and the Slytherin found his legs bound together. The only way he was able to keep standing was by bouncing around. "_Flipendo_!" he cast angrily.

Nate couldn't dodge this one. He was knocked backwards several feet, into the wall. The Hufflepuffs and Slytherins began an all-out House duel at that point, jumping up and casting at each other.

"_Locomotor wibbly_!" someone yelled, and Lauren leaped out of the way, only letting a Hufflepuff behind her become victim to the Jelly-Legs Curse. "_Finite_," Lauren cast, ending the spell. She decided to help the defensive side instead of engaging in a duel. Sprout was bound to enter sometime soon, and wasn't about to get in trouble. She went around, casting, "_Protego_!" every now and then, blocking the spells that the Slytherins were casting.

_We're Hufflepuffs,_ she thought dismally. _There's no way that we're going to win a duel. We suck at this stuff._

"AUUGH!" Nate shouted. "PUT ME _DOWN_!" The Slytherin that he had first cast the spell on was lifting him in the air and directing him around with his wand.

"You're a _Hufflepuff_," the Slytherin said, making Nate fly about the room. "We're _Slytherins_. Not only are you the worst duelers in the school, but you pitted yourselves against the _best _duelers in the school. This only goes to show that you're as stupid as they say you are."

Lauren fumed silently. No, it wasn't fuming. She was so angry, it felt like she was going to explode. She lifted her wand, pointed it at the Slytherin and cast a spell.

"_Orchideous_!"

A bouquet of flowers sprang from her wand, making a small _popping _noise. She groaned. She thought that the textbook said that it made flowers appear on your opponent's _head_.

Another idea formed in her head. She pointed her wand at the Slytherin and cast another spell.

"_Oppugno!_"

Their book said that the Oppugno spell made conjured objects attack. She wasn't sure how this was going to work, exactly, but saw the flowers quiver on her wand…

The flowers sprang from her wand like fireworks, zooming through the air to the Slytherin.

"What?" the Slytherin said, but then the flowers began to beat him about the head. The Slytherin stopped levitating Nate, who fell to the ground with a crash, and tried to use the Reductor charm on the flowers. They were small and thin, however, and his spells went astray and demolished several tables, plant pots, and an unfortunate magical portrait.

The flowers banded together and wrapped around the Slytherin's feet, bringing him down to the ground, where they could attack more precisely. They formed thick ropes and tied his hands together, grabbed his wand, and deposited it in Lauren's waiting palm.

The dueling had stopped long before, when the flowers first started attacking. Everyone watched, wide-eyed as Lauren threw the Slytherin's wand up in the air and caught it again.

"The worst duelers, eh?" she asked leisurely.

The Slytherin didn't answer. The flowers had bound him up and gagged him.

"Listen. I'm going to ungag you, and you're going to say the words '_Hufflepuff House is awesome'._ Until you do, I'm not freeing you. Understood?"

The Slytherin nodded.

"Ungag him," Lauren commanded the flowers, which obediently relaxed and flew to his hand restraints, to reinforce them for the time being.

Lauren held his wand teasingly beyond his reach. "Say it. Now. And someone get a recording."

"I'm on it," Nate said happily. He held his wand by the Slytherin's mouth like a microphone.

"_When I tell Professor Slughorn about this…" _the Slytherin said, his voice trembling with anger.

"Say it."

The Slytherin sighed. "Hufflepuff House is awesome," he muttered.

His flower restraints stiffened. "Louder," Lauren told him.

"HUFFLEPUFF HOUSE IS AWESOME!" he shouted, closing his eyes.

Lauren waved her wand, and the flowers disappeared in colorful sparks. "Better. And don't get it in your mind to duel us again," she added as he ran back to the safety of the Slytherin desks.

"You're toast!" a Slytherin girl shouted. "When we tell our Head of House – "

"That you attacked Nathanial Yews?" Professor Sprout finished. Everyone froze and looked to the door.

"I'm not _that_ oblivious, students," Sprout continued. "I saw what happened. Good job, by the way, Miss Hartfield. An interesting combination of spells, but it worked."

"I'm…I'm sorry, Professor," Lauren stammered. "I got…carried away…everyone's always calling us stupid and weak and – "

"I understand, Hartfield," Sprout said. "Class dismissed."

"What?" the Slytherin demanded. "She's not getting _detention_?"

"You're not either, Matthews, so I suggest you close your gob!" Sprout shouted. "I mean…no, Matthews. Be thankful I'm not giving _you_ one."

The Hufflepuffs sniggered at the Slytherins, who looked disbelieving. They were being laughed at by _Hufflepuffs_.

The class began to file out of the room. Lauren watched the Slytherins from the corner of her eyes, smirking. For the first time since being Sorted, she felt proud to be a Hufflepuff.


	7. Alcyone makes a Hufflepuff Joke

A/N: Wow! The second-biggest chapter, in which they confront the bad guys! I don't own Harry Potter stuff, and please read and review!

"Hi, guys," Sylvia greeted. "Heard all about your little duel, Lauren. Spectacular job, by the way." Her words were casual, but her tone was anything but. Sylvia rummaged through her bag, and pulled out the day's edition of the Daily Prophet.

"What now?" Nate asked, taking the paper. He ignored the main story, where reporter Rita Skeeter described her close bonds of friendship with Harry Potter. As had become customary whenever they met, he turned immediately to the back page.

Lauren peered over his shoulder. "A robbery last night?" Her eyes slid down the article, freezing in the middle as she read two words. "At the house of Ingrid Turnrobe!"

"They found a hidden compartment under her bed," Sylvia explained quickly, snatching the paper from Nate. "There was evidence of strong magic concealing it, but it was open when the Ministry arrived." She looked at them. "You do know what this means, don't you? They'd already captured Ingrid, but it took a while to break her, apparently. This compartment. Guess what it hid."

"The rock?" Nate asked, standing up in alarm. "That can rip the screen between worlds?"

"Probably." She folded the Prophet up and put it back in her pocket. "Something's got to be done. Lauren, you're right."

"What are we going to do?" Nate asked them. "We don't even have a way to get to London!"

Sylvia smiled. "No, actually. We do."

_ Later that night…_

Lauren gasped the cold, smoggy air of London. She felt her eyeballs to make sure that they hadn't popped out. It sure felt like it.

"Thanks, Uncle Laz," Nate said.

"No problemm" Lazarus slurred. "Youse kids have fun at da carnivaaal…" He took a few dizzy steps, and collapsed on a nearby bench.

"I'm surprised we didn't splinch," Sylvia said. Her face was pale with fear.

"I'm surprised the giant squid actually let us _saddle _him," Lauren said.

"Uncle Laz almost always drunk, so he's used to Apparating like that." Nate looked up at the tall, dirty building in front of them. "Six two six West Reineking Street," he confirmed. "We're here."

Lauren strode up to the door and tried it. "Locked," she proclaimed to the others. She took out her wand. _"Alohomora!_"

It didn't budge an inch. "Augh! It's locked by magical means."

"I've got an idea!" Sylvia strode forward. "Lauren, I'm going do the Reductor Charm. At the same time, cast the spell _Silencio._ Got it?" Without waiting, Sylvia swung her wand through the air like a sword, and said, "_Reducto!"_

"_Silencio!" _Lauren cast at the same time. Like a black-and-white film, the door burst into smithereens without a sound.

Sylvia grinned. "Brilliant. It's amazing what complex ways of locking you can do with a door, and yet nobody thinks of reinforcing the door itself. Now, be quiet." Their wands out and ready, Nate, Sylvia, and Lauren crept into the room. The hallway was dark, but just beyond that was a richly decorated and brightly lit room. They slunk to the doorway, and listened for any voices.

"But how does it _work_?" someone asked, sounding frustrated. "Is there a spell I should try?"

"Try sprinkling it in the air with a Severing Charm, sir," another man suggested.

There was a short pause. _"Diffindo!_"

Another pause. "No! What, then?" They heard footsteps treading back and forth in the room. "I know that this is of great power, unforeseen power, and yet I cannot use it! What else?"

"Try burning some of it," a third man said.

"I cannot waste this, Alcyone. Wait."

Lauren froze. Did they hear her?

"What is it, Cepheus?" Alcyone asked.

"I thought I heard something…" They heard footsteps coming closer. Sylvia gestured urgently to the door. The three of them scurried to the opening.

"What," a cool voice asked from behind them, "do we have here? Intruders, it appears."

Lauren felt her wand fly out from her pocket and into their attacker's hand. "Stop that, now. Let's have a look at you three."

She gasped in surprise as she, Sylvia, and Nate were pushed against the back wall with a spell, and saw their attackers. Three men, and the one in front she recognized as Cepheus Tawning.

Cepheus must have thought that something was very funny, because he began laughing, almost madly. "Look who our intruders are! Children, run off from Hogwarts!"

"And two of them are Hufflepuffs, Cepheus," Alcyone pointed out with glee.

"Hufflepuffs!" He doubled over, too weak to stand upright. "Hufflepuffs! What are you going to do, throw plants at me?" As he laughed, Lauren caught a glimpse of a tiny package in his hand. It was surprisingly small, and very easy to overlook. Sylvia saw it, too.

Lauren was trying to desperately think of a plan, and looked longingly to the door, but before she could take her friends and dash out, Sylvia ran forward and snatched the packet from Cepheus while he was laughing.

"Hey!" Ralis shouted. He cast a Knockback Jinx at her.

"Sneaky little Ravenclaw, aren't we?" Cepheus sneered. "None of that now. Give it back."

Sylvia turned up her nose. "No."

"You seem to forget that you wand is here. You may not realize that…"

While Cepheus was talking, Lauren felt something press against her hand. Sylvia was looking at Cepheus with fright, but was trying to give the package of dust to her at the same time. Lauren took it quickly.

"Now, give it back," Cepheus finished.

"I don't have it," Sylvia informed him primly.

He turned to Nate and Lauren. "Then you must. Come on. Hand it over." He extended his hand.

Lauren's face brightened with an idea. "I've got it," she told him.

"Good. I'd like it back."

"Make. Me."

Cepheus laughed at her. "What could _you_ possibly do to me, not even possessing a wand? Hufflepuff?"

"This!" Lauren rushed forward at Cepheus and punched him in the side a few times, too quick to follow with their eyes.

Ralis cast a spell that sent her flying backwards into the wall.

"Futile, Hufflepuff," Cepheus snarled. "That was pointless, and you'll suffer for it. One last chance – give it to me _now_."

"None of us have it anymore," Lauren said, smirking. "I've hidden it."

"What?" Cepheus demanded.

"Yes, I've hidden it. But both her," Lauren said, nodding in Sylvia's direction, "and I have touched the dust of Python's rock. Whoever touches it, I've read, is able to wield it. Didn't you know? They have excellent books in the restricted section." It was a complete lie, of course. But also crucial to Lauren's plan that nobody but Cepheus search for the dust.

"Impossible," Cepheus said. He raised his wand. "_Accio dust_!"

Nothing happened.

"What?" He spun around angrily, and cast his spell in the other direction. _"Accio dust!_"

Still, nothing happened.

"Let me, Cepheus," Alcyone said. He pulled out his wand, which was an odd, silvery type of wood.

"No!" Cepheus roared. "Only I will wield its power! Once I dispose of these…these _schoolchildren_, I will truly be the only one. Now, right. Hufflepuff," he spat. "Let's _chat_."

Lauren gulped. This would be the hard part.

"What about the other Hufflepuff and the Ravenclaw?" Ralis asked, pointing at them. "The dungeon?"

Cepheus nodded. "For now. Bring the Hufflepuff girl."

Lauren was dragged unceremoniously into the large library, where even the fire seemed to mock her. Alcyone threw her in a chair and tied her to it. She struggled against the ropes he'd conjured, but they were tight as could be.

"Don't waste your energy, Hufflepuff," Cepheus said. "You don't realize what you've meddled in…or do you? How else could you have guessed our plans and made that ridiculous excuse of an opposition? It's true that we were no match for Voldemort, but now that the Dark Lord is dead, we can take his place, as we did before he rose."

"What methods shall we be employing?" Ralis asked, turning his wand over in his hand. "Crucio, as usual?"

Cepheus rubbed his chin. "No, I don't think so. This one looks strong, even though she _is_ a Hufflepuff…"

Alcyone smiled. "Oh! I know a hilarious Hufflepuff joke!"

"Do tell," Cepheus invited.

"So, a blind wizard walks into a bar, and loudly exclaims, 'Who wants to hear a Hufflepuff joke?' The bar goes entirely quiet. The bartender says, 'Sir, I am a Hufflepuff, and used to handling rough crowds by myself. The witch to your left, who has her wand drawn, is an Auror and also a Hufflepuff. The wizard to your right, with his wand drawn, is a Hufflepuff and an accomplished dueler. Do you still want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?'" Alcyone took a moment to laugh, and then continued. "The blind wizard laughs. 'Gods, no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!'"

The room shook with their laughter. Lauren sighed and rolled her eyes as they ridiculed her House.

"Oh, so funny," Lauren said, turning her anger into courage. "What House were _you_ all in? Slytherin, I suppose."

"No," Alcyone said. "I was a Gryffindor. So was Ralis. There are Gryffindor Dark wizards," he said, seeing her expression. "People just don't know about them."

"What about you?" she asked Cepheus.

He scoffed. "I'm Greek, you idiot. Why do you think I have this _outrageous_ accent?"

"Then what are you doing in England?"

"Mind your own business," Cepheus snapped. "But yes, I _am _Greek. My home is in Athens. I did not attend this _Hogwarts_ school. But, being Greek, I have some interesting history. I can trace my ancestry back to the Sirens that lured sailors to their doom, which comes in handy often. As it will now." He laughed. "Yes, the sirens. I inherited a certain _gift,_ as I call it. The gift of persuasion. When Ingrid Turnrobe, my old friend, turned out difficult, I had to resort to this gift to find the package of dust, dust from Python's rock. I will do so again, with you."

Lauren felt a mixture of relief and fear. So they weren't going to use torture. But this gift of persuasion seemed at least as deadly. Would she find a way to not listen to him?"

"One last chance," Cepheus offered. "Will you tell me where it is?"

"Not willingly." Lauren closed her eyes and tried to close her ears.

"Fine, then. We continue the hard way." He paused, and Lauren could feel a special power mustering in him at his command.

"_Tell me._"

She cringed and shut her eyes harder. Suddenly, his voice had taken on an…an almost melodic tone. It sounded so friendly, so caring, and even those two words seemed to say that giving into it would give her everything she wanted. Lauren shook her head. "No!"

"_Why not? It's only a matter of time until I find it._" Added to the rich, friendly tone was a hint of amusement. _"Really, what do you think to accomplish? Did you embark on a quest to save the world, thinking it was possible to cross me?_" Even his demeaning words sounded warm and musical.

"I won't!" Lauren refused, raising her voice. "I won't I won't I won't I won't!"

"_Ah, now you're ranting. That is the first stage. Next comes shouting blindly, ranting quietly, and finally subsiding. Once again, it is inevitable. Why continue to pit yourself against me?_"

Lauren knew he was right. There was only so long she could be on the defensive against this. _I have to strike back somehow,_ she thought. What were his weaknesses? She needed to _understand_ him, and figure out what he was like. Cepheus seemed like the very serious type. He didn't like people acting fools when he was involved. What else did she understand about him?

"_You're trying my patience. You'll soon learn that I have none, Hufflepuff._" Through the rich tones that spoke of ancient, powerful magic, she could detect an angry undercurrent.

She put the two things together, his weaknesses – seriousness and impatience.

There was only one thing she could do to strike back, and it wasn't talking. But close.

Lauren took a deep breath.

And she began to sing The Most Annoying Song In the World.

"_I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world, and this is how it goes:_

"_I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world, and this is how it goes:_

_I know the most…"_

"SHUT UP!_" _Cepheus screamed, covering his ears. "SHUT UP, HUFFLEPUFF!"

"_And this is how it goes…"_

"I SAID, SHUT UP! _TELL ME WHERE YOU HID THE REMAINS OF PYTHON'S ROCK!" _

"_I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world, and this is how it goes…" _Even using his gift, Cepheus was thoroughly annoyed, and its effect was weakened considerably.

"_I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world…"_

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

"_And this is how it goes…"_

Quick A/N: I hope everyone got the Monty Python reference with Cepheus! Thanks very much.


	8. The Big Boss Fight and Fourth Wall

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter. Enjoy the big boss fight!

"I hope Lauren's all right," Sylvia muttered. She examined the grey walls of the cellar, where they were being kept. The door was locked and Ralis was guarding it.

"They're probably torturing her." Nate looked in the direction of the door, worry reflected in his eyes. "Where did she hide it?"

Sylvia shrugged. "I don't know. I took it, gave it to her, and that's all I know. I still don't get why it didn't come when Cepheus used a Summoning Charm. I should have, even if she hid it."

They sat in silence for a while, sharing the stone bench that had been shoved in the corner of the cellar.

"Hey, Sylvia," Nate said. "Since we're trapped here with nothing better to do, why don't you tell me why you've been getting all those detentions?"

"Oh, those?" she sounded bored. She scraped some crusty buildup on the wall off. "Uugh. Wizards have _no _imaginations. I try to have some fun, and I get reprimanded! I mean, what the heck?" Sylvia thrummed her feet against the wall. She thrust her hand into her pocket and withdrew a crumpled piece of paper. "All my detentions. I've been keeping a log, so I can complain to the Headmistress at the end of the year."

"What are they?" Nate slid closer to take a look.

Sylvia picked out a sentence with her finger. "Get a load of this one: _Asking, 'How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?' and then walking away is only funny the first time_. The other Ravenclaws didn't seem to think so!" Sylvia picked out another. "And this one!_ Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say, 'NI!'_. Really!"

"Those are your reasons for detention?" Nate asked wondrously.

"I know, right? Check this out," she said, pointing at another. "_There is not, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of this House nor its founder._ I thought that one was hilarious!"

"What that one?" Nate asked, pointing to the one on the very bottom.

"_When I am sent to Professor Flitwick's office, I will not go there skipping and singing, 'I'm off to see the wizard!'_ They have NO IMAGINATION!" she repeated angrily.

"Is this limited to your first year? Please tell me you'll stop this year."

"Are you kidding? Next year, I hope to get a detention for something like, '_The giant squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball._" She giggled. "And then, my third year, I plan to get one like, _'I will not bring a Magic 8 ball to Divination class._"

Nate nodded. "Wow." He looked around. "I feel so horrible about Lauren. Here we are, sitting around, and she's getting tortured. I want to _help_ her."

"Yeah," Sylvia agreed. "But the door is locked, we have no wands, and that Ralis guy is guarding us. I need to think of an idea." She stood up and started walking in circles around the cellar, mumbling to herself.

Nate glared at her. Ravenclaws were so stuck up. They thought that every good idea had to come from one of _them._ Sylvia tried not to, but sometimes acted like that. Nate wanted to feel just a little bit smart.

"Say, what's that, Sylvia?" he asked, pointing to an empty patch of wall.

She kicked the spot. "What's what?"

"It's a _ventilation shaft!" _Nate said, making his voice a whisper but standing near the door where Ralis was sure to hear.

Sylvia scratched her head. "I don't –"

"You got it open? Great! Let's get out of here." He stomped his feet on the ground near the wall, and pounded on it several times.

"What's going on in there?" Ralis asked angrily from outside. "If you're trying anything…"

"Quick!" Nate said, making more thumps. "Let's get out before he comes in!"

"That's it! I'm coming in, and if you're _doing anything,_ I swear that I'll torture you before I close the door again!"

Nate positioned himself by the doorframe. As the door swung open and Ralis ran inside, Nate stuck out his foot and tripped him. Sylvia caught the gist of things and kicked his head, knocking him out. She looked at Nate with amazement. "That was clever."

"It was nothing," Nate said. He took Ralis's wand from his pocket. "Well, he's only got one wand, but one is better than none." Nate pocketed the wand and motioned for Sylvia to follow. They found a set of stairs and climbed them. On the ground level, they could hear people screaming at each other.

_ "I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most annoying song in the world, and this is how it goes…"_

"_SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I COMMAND YOU TO SHUT UP!" _

Nate and Sylvia shivered as they detected a trace of magic clinging to Cepheus's words. But it was a good sign – Lauren hadn't told him yet.

"_I know the most annoying song in the world! I know the most –"_ Her words were cut off suddenly, like someone had clamped a hand over her mouth. More likely, it was a silencing charm.

"Now that _that's _done," Cepheus said, "we can _get _somewhere. _Where did you hide the dust?" _

"ALL RIGHT!" Lauren shouted. "All right, I'll tell you!" She sounded weary and desperate, and paused before continuing. "Check behind the bookcase."

Shuffling footsteps issued from the room. "Nothing is there, _Hufflepuff_. _Where did you hide the packet?" _

"ALL RIGHT!" Lauren shouted the words in exactly the same way that she did before. "The mantle top. Look on the mantle top."

More footsteps. "Nothing! You dare and lie to _me_…_Where is – _"

"ALL RIGHT! Try under that floorboard."

"_I don't think you're telling the truth!" _

"Maybe not, but _how do you know_ that I'm not?"

Cepheus pried up the floorboard and looked under it. It was empty. "Cease these games! You have _no idea_ what I'll do with you when this is done! _Where_ –"

"Behind the chair!"

"_IS THAT WHERE IT TRULY IS?_"

"You can't tell, can you? You can't be sure without checking…"

He checked. Nothing.

"This is it, _Hufflepuff_!" Cepheus shouted, enraged.

"We've got to do something!" Sylvia whispered to Nate.

Nate took out Ralis's wand. "No kidding. Let's try stunning him."

Cepheus brandished his wand at Lauren and prepared to cast the Cruciatus Curse. Tied down to the chair, Lauren braced herself. Sylvia had told her all about this curse, _too _much, really.

"_Stupefy_!" Nate shouted, whirling around the corner. To be safe, he cast multiple ones. _"Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy!_"

At the last second Cepheus cast a Shield Charm, reflecting all of Nate's spells, scattering them like marbles. One of them hit Alcyone, and he crumpled to the floor.

"_Diffindo!_" Nate cast, and the ropes that bound Lauren in place were cut. She sprang out of the chair by her friends, unable to do anything but watch.

The wand flew out of Nate's hand like it was attached to a string, and the string attached to Cepheus's hand. He laughed. "Alcyone and Ralis mean nothing to me. I was going to get rid of them, anyway, one I harnessed the power of Python's rock." He looked at all three of them, thinking of something. "Now, I will torture each of your friends until you tell me where you hid it. We'll start with _you _first," Cepheus said, pointing at Nate. "Since you so rudely _interrupted_ my _interrogation_." He chuckled at the similar beginning sounds of the words.

"What the heck do wizards have with alliteration?" Sylvia demanded. "Minerva McGonagall, Rowena Ravenclaw, Mad-Eye Moody...I mean, seriously?"

Lauren cried out to Nate as she and Sylvia were pushed away from him. Lauren silently cursed the stupid packet of dust, the dust that would control all aspects of magic, the dust from Python's rock. Her mind kept building onto the thought. The dust from the rock. The rock from…the wall. The wall. That was it.

"Hey! Cepheus!" Lauren waved her hand in the air. She struggled to keep a triumphant smile off her face. "I'll tell you where the packet is. The real location, this time."

"If you trick me, I'll torture your friend no matter what!" he promised angrily. Sylvia and Nate looked interested, despite the obvious peril they were in, to see where Lauren had put it.

Lauren squinted at Cepheus. "There appears to be an odd lump in your pocket."

Cepheus glanced down at his pocket. Slowly, silently, he took out the packet. He gaped at it like he'd never seen it before.

"Oh!" Nate said. "So, you hid it _on _him? That's the one place he'd never look! And then the Summoning Charm didn't work because he already _had _it! Cool!"

"Smart," Cepheus muttered, "for a Hufflepuff, that is. But now," he continued raising the dust above his head, "I will finally use this _power_! The only thing in the world that can rip the boundary between realties! I shall _control magic_!"

Lauren shook her head. "You're wrong."

Cepheus stopped gloating and looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"That packet," she said, gesturing at it, "isn't the only thing that can rip the screen between worlds."

"What are you talking about, Hufflepuff? Of course it is."

"Wrong again. My friend Sylvia told me that objects have to be, in a way, _sharp, _to rip it. I know of something even sharper than that pathetic pile of dust."

"_Pathetic pile_ –"

"Yes, pathetic!" Lauren laughed. "Useless! Null! Good for nothing, Cepheus! Now, let me show you just how sharp words can be…"

"Shut up!" Cepheus commanded. "I'm going to kill all three of you now. Thank you, of course, for telling me where it was." He raised his wand, the tip of which glowed faintly green. "Last words?"

"You _suck_," Nate muttered.

Sylvia smiled a bit. "I just lost the Game." Cepheus made a frustrated noise and hit his forehead.

Lauren laughed. "You know what's going to happen, don't you? My life is going to be saved at the last instant by something really stupid and clichéd."

Cepheus scoffed. "The author would never allow that."

Suddenly, the sky fell down.

Blocks of stone fell out of the sky like gigantic raindrops, and the floor shook like an earthquake when they hit. Dust flew up into the air like someone was tossing confetti, curling and expanding in a slow, ethereal way.

When the ground ceased to tremble, and the dust cleared, Nate, Sylvia, and Lauren beheld a most unusual sight.

Where Cepheus was standing, there was a pile of heavy stone blocks.

It was a long while before anybody spoke. "What was that?" Sylvia asked quietly.

Lauren hadn't moved, and she looked upon the pile of stone just as she had been glaring at Cepheus. "That," she said slowly, crossing her arms, "was the fourth wall."

"You killed Cepheus…_with the fourth wall_?" Nate stared at the pile of rocks.

She nodded. "Yes. I realized just then, that Python's Rock was nothing special. It was just a piece of the fourth wall."

"So…" Sylvia said. "We can control all aspects of magic now? Wherever we want to?"

Lauren smiled. "The author would never allow that. But you could ask her."


	9. Stealing the House Cup (Literally!)

A/N: Last chapter! Thanks for reading this far. I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah.

Red and gold, the colors of Gryffindor House, blazed around them like suns. The banners bearing the crest waved and shone in the Great Hall, and although for some it meant another brilliant triumph, for three other Houses it meant another depressing loss. Especially the House with the least number of points.

Which would be Hufflepuff.

Nate's spoon clanked against the glass repeatedly as he stirred his pumpkin juice. He stared forlornly into the distance, at one of the Gryffindor banners. "Another _wonderful _triumph," he muttered to Lauren. "Harry Potter's House wins again. You know, I think that the teachers just look for every opportunity to issue points to Gryffindor."

"Professor Sprout doesn't," Lauren said.

"That's because she's awesome." Nate sighed. "It just doesn't seem _fair. _I mean, the school _knows _that we saved the wizarding world, and pretty much everything else. And just when they think we're pretty cool, somebody goes, 'Hey, that's _nothing _compared to what Harry Potter did. Could _you_ have faced Voldemort and defeated him?' It's unbelievable."

"Cheer up." Lauren said. "They'll still give us a good amount of points for what we did with Cepheus! I think we'll win this year."

Nate snorted.

"It can't be _that _bad," she told him. "We're not that far behind Gryffindor, are we?"

"Only about… two hundred behind. Why?"

"Well, if each of us gets one hundred…"

"If only Sylvia were a Hufflepuff!" Nate fumed. "Then we'd win for sure. Oh, the Headmistress is starting!"

Professor McGonagall waited patiently for the school to settle down. "Students! I am happy to conclude a successful year at Hogwarts! Only one thing remains to be done – the House Cup!" At her words, the school applauded loudly.

"Yes, the time when we see which House has earned the greatest number of House Points. The current standings are: Gryffindor in first, Slytherin in second, Ravenclaw in third, and Hufflepuff last." She hesitated, as if unsure whether to add, 'As usual'.

"As usual," she added. "So, I proudly present the House Cup to…Gryffindor House!"

The Gryffindor table cheered, and threw their pointed hats in the air in jubilation. The Hufflepuffs looked at the Headmistress bewilderedly. Hadn't she _heard _what happened with Nathaniel and Lauren?

"Er…Minerva?" Professor Sprout asked amidst the hoots and hollers of celebration. "I think that there's a few more points you need to add."

"What? For what? It's too late now," she said hurriedly. "I've already awarded the cup to Gryffindor."

"_Minerva!" _

"Oh, fine, fine," McGonagall said, waving her hand as if to ward the idea away. "One moment please, students." The Gryffindor table rolled their eyes. "I add five points to Ravenclaw for Miss Connor for facing Cepheus Tawning." She clapped a few times politely, and then shouted, "But Gryffindor still takes the Cup!"

"Five?" Professor Flitwick squeaked. "Just five? For Connor's valiant efforts and her intelligence?"

"Yes, of course, Filius," McGonagall said impatiently. "Five. It seems fitting."

"Her contribution was worth at least fifty! If not more!"

"Oh, _fine _then, have fifteen. That raises them to…oh, I see that they're still in third. Now, the cup goes to…Gryffindor!"

"You're forgetting something, Minerva!" Professor Sprout shouted.

McGonagall sighed. "Fine. For Nathaniel Yews and Lauren Hartfield's…_Hufflepuffness_, I award…ten House points."

"Ten?" Sprout shrieked. "_Ten?_ Together?"

"Yes, Pomona," McGonagall affirmed. "Now, I am pleased to present the Gryffindor House with this year's _HOUSE CUP_!"

"You can't be serious!" Both Flitwick and Sprout were up and yelling at McGonagall, trying to say that their Houses deserved much more.

"Hartfield and Yews were able to defeat three incredibly powerful Dark wizards in their first year at Hogwarts!" Sprout protested.

"And if it hadn't been for Connor, nobody would have noticed that something was happening!" Flitwick yelled.

"Silence!" McGonagall shot at them. "What your students did was not _that _extraordinary. Do you remember how Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord last year?" Her eyes became glossy as she stared off into the distance dreamily. "Can Hartfield, Connor, and Yews compare to _that_?"

"Yes!" Flitwick and Sprout shouted at the same time.

"Gryffindor was the chosen House for the Chosen One, the Boy Who Lived. If your House was as worthy, why wasn't he put _there?_"

"Ravenclaw would _despise_ having a student whose intelligence was anything less than spectacular," Flitwick said.

Sprout nodded. "And Hufflepuff would have been disgraced with a student who didn't show…" She scratched her head and stared at her feet in thought. "Well…that is…"

"Ha!" said McGonagall. "You see? Hufflepuff doesn't even have a trait! It's just this…this _hodgepodge_ of people who weren't good enough to make the others! The trait is, very simply, _Hufflepuffness_. Now, students, before I was interrupt –"

She stopped short. "Where did the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff Houses go?"

The two Houses had, by an unspoken consent, slipped out of the Great Hall without anyone noticing. They stood just outside the closed doors, glaring at the inside.

"Nobody appreciates our House!" someone from Ravenclaw complained.

"Are you kidding?" a Hufflepuff asked. "Our House is looked down upon even more than yours! Neither of us are just…_cool enough._ All thanks to Harry Potter." A wave of grumbles and nodding swept through the crowd.

Sylvia ran up to a staircase and stood above the group with Lauren and Nate. "Listen!" Sylvia said. "You're right! Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff are the school's laughingstocks! Don't we want to change this?" More nodding went through the crowd, and a few people shouted their accord.

"Let's show 'em!" Nate was speaking now. "Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw might be enemies, but right now we have one goal – and that's proving our Houses are just as awesome as the others! We all have a bone to pick!"

The crowd cheered enthusiastically, and a few people shot sparks into the air to accentuate his point.

Lauren nodded. "And Hufflepuffs! They say we don't have a trait, like Ravenclaw has intelligence, Slytherin purity and ambition, and Gryffindor bravery."

"And enormous egos!" a Ravenclaw shouted. "They think they're _so awesome_!"

"Do you want to know our trait, Hufflepuffs?" Lauren asked them. "After fighting, I think I've found it!"

The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws alike leaned forward in anticipation, the Hufflepuffs to know their trait, and the Ravenclaws to be among the first to learn.

"It's understanding! Understand?"

_Ahhhhh!_ The wave of recognition spread through the crowd. It began to make sense even before Lauren started explaining.

"They say we're plant-heads. The reason that we do so well in Herbology is that we can _understand _how plants work, and that they're living things. All of the Houses have a trait that helps them succeed, and now we know all four. Gryffindor succeeds because it has bravery and _does _things_._ Slytherin has ambition and _thinks_ highly of itself, opening their horizons and challenging themselves. Ravenclaws possess knowledge, and _know_. Hufflepuffs _understand_. And who says we have nothing to be proud of? J.K. Rowling placed herself in Hufflepuff House, as well as a lot of the Pottermore staff! And Ravenclaws have spectacular people like Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, and Nassy Nyrolian!" So," Lauren said, as the crowd was buzzing with excitement, "who wants to show the school just how awesome our Houses are?"

The crowd applauded and cheered, shooting more sparks into the air. Lauren, Sylvia, and Nate all made little bows.

"Let's get in there and show them!" Nate shouted, doing a fist pump.

"How?" Sylvia asked.

"We're taking the House Cup!" Nate answered, and more cheers came from the audience. "To where it belongs this year! Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff!"

The doors to the Great Hall opened, deceptively silently. The teachers, Slytherins, and Gryffindors all stared, wondering what was happening.

The dam burst just then. Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs exploded out from the doors, brandishing their wands. With savage war cries, they formed a current of students that flowed to the House Cup. McGonagall realized what was happening an instant after it did. Lauren, Nate, and Sylvia grabbed the House Cup at the same time.

"_BRING THAT BACK_!" the Headmistress shouted, lunging for the cup just as it slipped out of her reach. "_STUDENTS_!"

Around them, Gryffindors sprang up from the table and tried to impede their progress, but the anger and will of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw was unstoppable.

"_BRING THAT BACK, STUDENTS_!" McGonagall screamed, running after the two Houses, her emerald cloak flapping around her. She wasn't sure if she could cast spells at any students without getting sued. "_I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS BEHAVIOR_!"

Lauren, while running, whirled around and cast, "_Orchideous Oppugno_!"

Flowers gushed from her wand, wrapping themselves around the Gryffindor and Slytherin Houses, and all but stopping their progress forward.

Clapping issued from the teachers' High Table. "_YOU GO, HARTFIELD_!" Pomona Sprout cheered, standing up to run along with them.

"What are we going to do with it?" Sylvia wheezed, running alongside Lauren and Nate.

"I've got an idea!" Nate exclaimed, smirking. "But we need Professor Sprout and Flitwick's help..."

_Later that night..._

Minerva McGonagall stared at the niche in the wall, baffled.

"Pomona!" she said angrily. "I demand that you and Filius release the House Cup immediately!"

"I'm afraid that's a bit of an impossibility right now," Professor Flitwick said, smiling. "We refuse to let it go until another House wins next year, or you figure out how to get it yourself."

"But how?" She pointed to the niche. The House Cup, displayed amongst the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff banners, was surrounded by Devil's Snare. And yet, there were bright display lights shining on the plant. "Light is the Snare's only weakness. You'll never get it to retreat, either," she sniffed at Flitwick and Sprout. "I will, eventually, weaken your spells and take the Cup back."

"How exactly did they _manage _that?" Nate asked. "I thought that no spells could make Devil's Snare tolerant of light."

Lauren smiled. "They didn't," she whispered back, happily watching McGonagall make useless demands at the teachers. "It's an illusion. You see, that's how we can trick them. Hufflepuffs know that Devil's Snare couldn't possibly do that, and Ravenclaws have read enough to know an illusion when they see it. But the _real _House Cup is behind us." They turned around, and at first the only thing there was an empty wall.

Then the illusion melted away and they saw the _real_ House Cup, concealed where McGonagall, the Slytherins, and the Gryffindors would never find it. McGonagall could weaken the spells all she wanted, but the fake Cup would just disappear and reappear in another place. Professor Flitwick and Sprout had thought it up together. The only way that you could see it was if you were looking for it. And all others would be busy looking at the fake House Cup.

"You can't just…just _commandeer _the House Cup!" McGonagall sputtered. "I'll…I'll…do something!" she said fiercely. "Something..."

"What, Minerva?" Professor Sprout asked, grinning. "People have forgotten that Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs aren't about to stand around and be mocked, while Gryffindor and Slytherin take all the glory. Our Houses are all equal. It's about time that you all realized that fact."

"Exactly!" Flitwick agreed. "And we'll only keep the House Cup until next year, and gladly give it to the winning House. Unless, of course, you continue to pick favorites."

McGonagall flashed them all a nasty look, and then turned around with Gryffindor House to go to the commons. Slytherin took some time to laugh at Gryffindor, but left speedily to avoid being subjected to the same mockery.

"Let's hear it for Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff!" the cry rose from the crowd.

"I assert our inalienable right to party!" a Ravenclaw called out. The Houses were too busy celebrating to remember they were bitter rivals. They high-fived each other, shot fireworks into the hall, and cheered so loudly that Lauren looked around in alarm at the weakened walls of the castle.

The din reached the Gryffindor and Slytherin common rooms, and although they could block out the noise, the fact that their House's superiority had been usurped still remained. The Gryffindors tried to cheer themselves up by reminding themselves that they still had Harry Potter. The Slytherins looked out into the lake angrily and wondered why the giant squid was wearing a saddle.

All night long, the two Houses celebrated the last day of that year, knowing that next year would be _much _different. Next year, people would realize that their Houses had value. That they were _special_. The house elves brought out snacks for the students, and everyone voted for places they'd like to put the fake House Cup all next year.

And there were no words to describe how many times "Our House" by Madness was played.

A/N: Told you it'd be worth it! So, now that you've read it, go and review! If you liked this story (and heck, even if you didn't like it), go and read _Hogwarts? How Serendipitous!_ and _Phineas and Ferb – The Lost Episode_, both by me. And go get a Pottermore account – they're loads of fun! Help Ravenclaw win the House Cup this year by dueling and gaining House Points. (Please do! We _really_ need them!) And did I mention reviewing?


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